Enough With The Time Travel!

Just a few days ago, I discovered that the Twins woes were due to the '90s becoming hip and cool again. Luckily, Henry Blanco took the Twins out of that fad. But now I turn on the game today, and what do I see but the retro uniforms?! When will they learn?! If the Twins want to look back to years past, how about 2002 and 2003, the years when we won the division? Hey guys, remember people like Kenny Rogers and Rick Reed? Eddie Guardado? Remember him? Yeah, those were good times. Not the '70s. The '70s had disco. That's so not cool.

Now, according to the Twins website, the Twins used the blue uniforms from 1973 to 1986 (I had to look it up because that's before my time). 1973 was also the first year of Frank Quilici as manager. Despite having about the coolest name a manager could have, that did not translate onto the field, and he was gone after 1975. In the years of the blue uniforms, the Twins were better than .500 just four times, and the best they could do in the AL West was third. The rock bottom worst were the 60-102 1982 Twins, which, at a glance, appears to be the worst Twins team ever. Sure, the 1982 Twins had Kent Hrbek and Gary Gaetti and Tom Brunansky and, uh, Butch Wynegar.

Hell, they even had Randy Johnson! Granted, he wasn't the future hall of fame pitcher that today mows down batters well into his 40's, but rather just a light-hitting DH who played just two seasons. Actually, looking up Randy "Not The Pitcher" Johnson's info, I learned that the Twins got him as a PTBNL from the White Sox in a deal that sent the Twins Ivan Mesa, Ronnie Perry and cash for Jerry Koosman before the 1981 season. Then, years later in 1985, the Twins traded him back to the White Sox along with Ron Scheer in exchange for a one Roy Smalley.

Surely, the 1982 Twins are no one to imitate, Randy Johnson or not. Unfortunately, Joe Roa hadn't checked the Twins history, where the greatest highlight from that era was starting play in the Metrodome, and he did his best Terry Felton impression (loser of 13 games in 1982, in relief). Just as well. I was starting to wonder if maybe the Twins had avoided the late '90s and focused in on 1991 only, and that was the reason for their five game winning streak. One loss isn't so bad after five wins. But let's just see some regular uniforms tomorrow, guys.